The belief system we pass on to our children should anticipate their youthful questioning and provide meaningful, reasonable answers. A belief system grounded in mythology and the supernatural must be manifested (proclaimed) in the life of the believer. Children should not be expected to accept and claim ownership of beliefs that are not lived out in the life of the believer. How else are they to know that the beliefs can bear fruit in their own lives?
From my own experience as a professing Christian, I know how important it is to embrace a faith that has meaning not only for me, but for my children as well. Sooner or later, they will have questions about faith matters – God, the church, doctrines of the faith such as atonement, resurrection, etc. I did not always have helpful answers as my children were growing up, primarily I think because there were things I did not fully understand and could not articulate in ways that were helpful to them. But also because I had been taught that certain understandings I had been taught about God, Jesus, etc., were not to be questioned. And even though I did question them in my own mind, I was not comfortable with my answers because they went against the grain of my learning. So, I did not know what to tell my children that would enable them to live happily in an environment where what they saw and experienced in the lives of their elders did not always match up with what they had been taught.
I have come to believe that faith is much more than accepting the incredible, that it is in fact acknowledging the power that exists within me to be in relationship with all of life, indeed all of creation. I experience that power as the presence of an intelligent, creative entity I choose to call God, working in and through me to fulfill Jesus’ commandment (and other God figures, as well) to love my neighbor, something I can devote my life to even as I fulfill responsibilities to family and society. This God is not separate from me, calling the shots from some distant place, orchestrating and directing the drama we call life. This God is totally invested in the drama, but not as manipulator. “Life” could even be another name for this God, just as could “love.” Many names, all denoting this God’s total involvement in creation.
But then, there comes the matter of choice. This God has given us the capacity to make choices that give life or that take life. Taking life can be as simple as an unkind word. Giving life can be as simple as “have a nice day.” If we could not make such choices, there would be no such thing as free will. Nor would we be able to explain why bad things happen to good people other than by suggesting that it’s God’s will. What a terrible burden to lay on this God of love and life who destines only that all creatures have access to the abundance laid before us, each according to need.
As our children grow up, I hope we will encourage them to be thinkers and questioners and to not be satisfied with simplistic answers that confuse their images of God. Recently, a friend was reflecting on the tragic and untimely death of a friend. “Where was God in this tragedy?” she asked. “If God is love, then there can be no God, because a God of love would not allow this to happen.” I thought to myself, what did she learn as a child that made her so conflicted about God? From my own experience, I knew the probable answers. What an ungodly disfavor to both spirit and intellect!
