“If you’re
so at odds with traditional Christian theology, why don’t you just plug in
somewhere else?” a friend recently asked.
Well, it
would be a bit like divorce from a lifelong mate. As with a long standing marriage, there’ve been
ups and downs, but it’s been a very loving relationship, and if I left it, I
really don’t know what I could find to replace it. But, most important for me is the call I feel
to be instrumental in helping the church rediscover its faith roots, planted in
the example and teachings of the one it proclaims as Lord. Beyond that, I’m not persuaded that 21st
Century Christianity, in all its varied iterations, authentically and fully expresses
the theology of Jesus.
For most of my adult
life I have been trying to clarify and reconcile my spirituality with
understandings passed on to me by my parents and other teachers within my
traditional Christian faith community.
This has become increasingly difficult as my own life experiences have
confronted me with an irresolvable conflict between what I was taught and what
I can accept as valid for me. My church
has not encouraged me in my need to pursue a more expansive world view that
helps me to see more completely my interdependent relationship with all of
humankind. I have remained in my faith
community with the hope that I might be a guiding light to others who express
openness to more expansive understandings of life, unconstrained by sectarian
dogma and traditional faith perspectives, striving to be agents of
reconciliation in a destructively divided world. I have justified my chosen role from a
personal perspective of the function of and continuing need for reformation
within the church, and an evolving spirituality within myself and my faith
community.
The closest thing I can
find from Jesus that might serve as a litmus test for Christian discipleship
would be the practice of servanthood as spoken of in Matthew 25,
and loving neighbor without reservation (Golden Rule living), which I
understand is affirmed in somewhat similar expression by virtually all major
world faiths. Although certain Biblical
references may seem to suggest otherwise, I do not perceive Jesus as
prescribing a particular belief system or identifying himself as the antidote
to an eternal existence of relentless suffering in a state of separation from
God. I see him as the premier
characterization of the wholeness within which all humankind can indeed
experience shalom peace, and so I seek to become like him to the extent that I
am able to transcend my human frailties.
I do not believe it is
possible for me to truly love my neighbor and view my neighbor’s experience of
God, however defined, as insufficient or invalid. The United Methodist mission to “make
disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world” suggests that
Christian discipleship is the antidote to the human condition, and that my task
as a Christian is to persuade my neighbor to become a Christian disciple, and
thus also an agent of transformation in the world. There seems to be at least a suggestion here
that other historic faith communities do not have the capacity to be agents of
love, peace, and reconciliation, to live with concern for neighbor at least
equal to concern for self. As I learn more
about other faiths, I have to reject this notion.
I have come to believe that spiritual maturity is not the attainment of
certainty about anything, rather the realization that there are no final
answers for humans and that maturity is better reflected in the search, the
questions, the recognition that things eternal cannot be packaged in a
doctrine, a book, or a theological treatise. It seems to me that attempts
to package can be a form of idolatry, lead to spiritual arrogance and bigotry,
and are not inherently a means to Grace or a coming Kingdom of God in human
hearts. Finding the freedoms that exist beyond the bindings requires a
conscious and intentional effort to put behind us beliefs that fall short of
serving humanity well, acknowledge our interdependence and mutuality, and live
as though our lives and the survival of our world depend on it.
In my still forming
view, western Christianity’s capacity for transformation has been severely
compromised by its cohabitation with secular culture, with the Christian
community dependent on secular culture for its survival, and secular culture
appropriating Christianity for its utility.
Despite dissenting voices within the church, some mercilessly quieted,
the bond seems to have strengthened over the centuries. But this identifies even more clearly for me
my task to be an agent of change.
And so, as long as I can be a positive influence for change within my
spiritual community that enables people to minimize their separation from their
creator, my pilgrimage with them will continue.
Do you have a similar story? If
so, I hope you’ll share it.
